Monday, May 08, 2006

Make friendsip wid me?

I was studiously ignoring the social networking website into which I had registered myself in a moment of blind insanity some time ago. I was even blithely deleting mails from people wishing to make themselves near and dear to me without even reading them. Till, that is, I realised how much pleasure they could give on a lazy afternoon when I, having just spent another manic Sunday writing a story, was taking some justified time off. Well, it's all too good not to be shared, and I'm not a big enough person to resist the temptation to, so here we go:

1. i m aman. i from bangalore. i want to be your friend. would you give this pleasure.

(Pithy, aren't we? Those short, crisp sentences. Reminds me of Hemingway. And pleasure, eh? Of course! I EXIST to bring a ray of sunshine (and pleasure) into lives such as yours.)

2. hi S,

This is RC (naming no names, you see. I have an angelic side too) from Bangalore.... Then hows life?? Im from Bangalore, a software engineer in a MNC... Where are u at present?? Im looking for a nice friend....
What else to pen in my start up mail??

(What else, indeed! And looking for a nice friend, you say? Did you try the nearest Westside?)

3. hi,
was looking for some friends... ping me sometime...

(Which friends? How many? When did they disappear? How? PAN numbers, please.)

4. hi this is v and i want to friend ship with u



5. S king: would love to befriend thee.....

(Aha! Reading Shakespeare, are we?)

6. Sam urs: hello,
im from delhi, like to make new friends add me in ur list & see my photo gallery hope u all like the hot pics.

(Oh yess yess, where where? Can't believe I LIVED till now without your hot pics to sustain and comfort me!)

7. SG: Hi
I would like to be ur friend. If interested u can add me as your friend.


(I would like to be your friend too. Maybe when you've learnt to punctuate, spell and not use out-moded abbreviations, yes?)

8. (unlike all the other mails which had boring little subject lines with variations of the word 'Hi', this one's was a to-the-point 'friendship'. I like.)


Hi,wss up just came across ur profile i have done my B.E in Bangalore Institute of Tech as of now working for e4e how abt a friendship i saw u in one of community and wee to have our bar and resturant which brand u like most to unwind on week ends cheers!mate

(Dear mate, please allow me to congratulate you on your innovative use of the English language. This particular use of the word 'wee', and that spelling of the word 'was', I think, has been unrecorded since the year 1227, and as for 'resturant', I mean, what inspired simplification! And abt that friendship, yes, why not? Maybe we could meet up in Australia?)

That was, I think, a Monday well-spent. What joy!


At May 08, 2006 7:16 PM, Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Most hurt. Hwaai yu not tell me yu want to mek frend sips?

(We can sip with the best, just have to know "which brand u like most to unwind on week ends" - or should that be "weak ends"? Unwound any good brands lately?)

The "wss up" was probably his version of wassup. How terminally cool.


At May 08, 2006 8:14 PM, Blogger Tridib said...

You mean person, your wannabe friends would be mortally hurt to see their invitations so heartlessly dissected.

At May 10, 2006 8:35 AM, Anonymous Saptak said...

How com know body wantz 2 B frndz with me?

At May 10, 2006 11:21 PM, Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

my feelings exactly saptak :)

At May 10, 2006 11:54 PM, Blogger GREATBONG said...

I like the way "franship" seamlessly transitions to "hot pics". Well you have to admire these people for wanting to reach out and make the world a better place.

At May 11, 2006 12:56 PM, Blogger The Marauder's Map said...

JAP: Let us unwind brands together, when you next step this way. YOu shall tell me which brands you would prefer to unwind.

Tridib: I do hope they see this, cause these 'frndsip' mails to tend to jar on one after a point.

Saptak, M: Modesty, modesty.

Greatbong: Yes, what candour, what frankness! What a free, open society we live in! Takes my breath away, it does.

At May 11, 2006 5:05 PM, Blogger Ron said...

Such honesty. Someone recently left an offline message on yahoo syaing he wants "good frensip and sex" with me. Had to regretfully decline; who knows what constitutes "good frensip and sex" these days ;P

Kotha theke je aashe ei shob sample gulo!!!!!

At May 12, 2006 7:46 PM, Blogger jhantu said...

if u are on orkut go check out "i wan2 be ur frans" community , its hilarious!
footnote: are u like u? can wee be frands?

At May 12, 2006 11:42 PM, Blogger Anyesha said...

Bang on...nothing beats the cheap thrill of rejecting umpteen offers of doing "franship" from chivalrous Indian gentlemen that one recieves on Orkut. Its really difficult to resist the temptation of saying something as tacky as " I do a lot of things darling, but franship is certainly not one one of them...I am just not that sort of girl, dahling" in a very Carrie Bradshaw-eque manner. Something tells me that the joke would just boink off a hollow cranium somewhere so I just rehearse it to myself and giggle at the thought!!!

At May 13, 2006 12:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least their not giving you penis enlargement tips. Cut them some slack. Everyone needs a babe or 2 as a friend. So you don't want to be the babe, big deal, lots of others available on earth.

At May 13, 2006 12:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

one interesting thing i observed is good looking girls often post their pics(the like the attention i guess) while the not that good looking girls put up pics of cute babies or flowers in their profiles :)

anywho wanna be friends with me? ;)

At May 13, 2006 4:03 PM, Anonymous green said...

Im from Bangalore, a software engineer in a MNC...

I totally love this line. Once a person gave me this line. I asked do you work for Infosys ? He said "Grr ..I told you MNC"

The last time I heard Infosys was still MNC. But these highly talented software engineers think MNC means a non-Indian company, period.

Infosys and other such IT companies are not MNC and neither are companies like Dabur.

At May 13, 2006 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Befriend thee - priceless! Hadn't heard that one before!

At May 13, 2006 5:57 PM, Blogger 4WD said...

That god i don't have to say ``Computer engineer from MNC in bangalore''

I can say, ``Crime reporter from N Paper in delhi, but travelling a lot, most recently to siachen.''

Good thing i have enough friends. My sis gets a lot of these too, and i always wonder why they ask to be friends, when its clear thats not what they want :P

At May 14, 2006 4:19 PM, Blogger Aravind said...

Hilarious all of them, I for one certainly don't want to receive any of those cheesy invitations and probably won't (being a guy). But wanted to know what is a good way to make a friendly ship :).

At May 15, 2006 11:33 AM, Blogger Lahar said...

Hai dearie why you making fun of all guys with English is not so good? Well little bit about myself, I am cool guy from Bangalore itself I am basically into blogging for few months now but dearie please do drop your footprints in my blog and all the others j alfred hitchcock all the rest all are welcome. Please do not make fun of us if you cut us do we not bleed

At May 15, 2006 12:24 PM, Blogger Dusty said...

Could not resist posting this:
"Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade."
- William Shakespeare

At May 17, 2006 6:08 AM, Anonymous Ph said...

NO ONE proposes such things to me. Is there something I am doing wrong.

At May 17, 2006 5:09 PM, Blogger Rohini said...

I wonder how this whole "I want to make friendship with you" think started out. I think it's pretty common and we've all heard it atleast one. But 'make' friendships? Maybe it is an extension from making friends?

At May 18, 2006 2:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Making friendship? Is that like foreplay to making love?

At May 18, 2006 2:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Making friendship? Is that like foreplay to making love?

At May 19, 2006 12:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice one...something i go through everyday.Believe me they are such a pain,i tell u!!
Plus i get ppl writing shayaris especially for heights !!!
This shows how jobless some ppl are.The only solution....justt click ignore button.:-)


At May 22, 2006 1:10 AM, Anonymous Paromita said...

Your popularity is growing high for sure but please unbrak their hurt..:-)

At June 01, 2006 11:53 PM, Blogger shrik said...

I did a similar post, only, I offered the stuff without comment..

But then, those RFFs (requests for frensip) weren't directed at me, so I wouldn't know how to respond :D

At June 13, 2006 6:14 PM, Blogger Space Bar said...

er--didn't anyone say, welcome to ryze?!

At June 15, 2006 2:42 PM, Blogger Shuv said...


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At September 22, 2006 3:21 PM, Anonymous Ramya said...

I have one to add too... About a week back, I got this message "Hi ther I have hot naked pics in my albums les make friendship"

You guessed it right, I fell off my chair laughing (but the guy wasn't lying, he did have women of all races in his album). Such events leave me speechless.


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