In the entire history of Hindi film music, has there ever been a song more annoying, more inane, more completely intolerable than Crazy Kiya Re? And must people insist on playing this paean to bad taste at varying distances from my window at all times, so that I can hear it wafting in in all its tuneless glory without a goddamn break? From all my windows, to be precise, so there's no removing oneself to another room. And to be honest, how much removing can one do in a two-bedroom flat? (and in the present rather large state where hauling myself out of bed is something I ponder over for hours, wondering if it's worth it.)

Getting back to Crazy Kiya Re. Apart from the obvious silliness of the lyrics, there's the belligerent, aggressive tone of it that sends me into paroxysms of irritation. Then there's the fact that each time I hear it, Aishwarya Rai in body-hugging leather rises like a vision before the eyes and is that something one can take with equanimity at the best of times?

As for the lyrics, I feel I must blame Gulzar for starting this trend of mixing English and Hindi words in Hindi film songs -- a review of Kajare Re with the sublime line 'aankhen bhi kamal karti hain, personal se sawal karti hain' becomes necessary at this point. The man's done it earlier too; songs like Do diwane shahar mein from Gharonda have the occasional 'of course' popping up here and there.

But does that mean lesser mortals (Sameer, I tell you!) must try it too? Most annoying.